Do You Speak Japanglish? The Charm of Interracial Relationships

The first date my boyfriend and I went on was to dinner, after which we drove up to my city’s scenic drive and watched the city lights in the comfort of his truck. I realized I was doing most of the talking, and he was sitting rather quietly, and looking tremendously pensive. Instead of being reasonable, my mind raced to conclusions thinking he saw me as obnoxious, too loud, too boring, too young. It makes sense how nervous I was being that he had spent the last thirty minutes alternating between looking out the window, nodding, and avoiding eye contact. But just as I was running out of things to say, he turned and fixed his eyes on me, and proceeded to ask ‘Will you be my girlfriend?’ in Japanese. For a moment I just stared back, not realizing what language he had spoken or what he had said, but eventually it dawned on me, and I answered ‘Yes!’ although I don’t remember what language I said it in. I must have had quite the look on my face because he asked ‘really?’ to which I replied again ‘yes!’ in English. Following the initial intense feeling of relief at saving myself from embarrassment by understanding his question, I felt the warmth and giddiness that is often associated with a new relationship.

A couple of weeks later, I invited him to a family event and that was the first time it truly registered in my brain that maybe his culture wasn’t the same as mine, and he didn’t have the same customs as I did. So it was that I was adamantly shocked when he declined the invitation. How dare he? Once again, I jumped to conclusions thinking he wasn’t serious about me, and proceeded to become upset. After much musings, I decided to express my concern, and after a productive conversation, we both realized that being in a relationship with each other would involve being open-minded and communicative. That controversial family event was followed by numerous other family events and cultural differences, which we graciously handled, for the most part. It was during this time that I started to be concerned by some aspects of our relationship. Just like in the past, I kept quiet, because, judging from past experiences, I figured bringing it up would do no good. I resigned to just dealing with it, but each day the irritation at these imperfections grew greater. Finally, at my mother’s urgent suggestion, my boyfriend and I talked. What I thought would be a disaster, went smoothly, and to my immense satisfaction, poof, our problems disappeared. Who knew an honest conversation between two rational people could do that?

I’ve been in this relationship for quite some time now, and I feel that our connection grows stronger everyday. I feel more stable in this interracial relationship than I have ever felt in any other relationship. I believe that is due to the fact that interracial relationships force you to fine-tune all the skills any relationship needs, making the relationship that much stronger. They say that communication is important for a relationship to succeed, but in a relationship between two people belonging to two completely different cultures, communication is your lifeboat. Then of course come the sacrifices, and the immense patience needed when you just can’t seem to understand what the other person is saying in any language. So yes, with interracial relationships come challenges, and misunderstandings, and barriers to overcome. But they also give you the opportunity to learn about another culture and experience a different way of thinking. They help you become a better-rounded, aware person. And let’s not forget, they also provide you the opportunity to savor your partner’s delicious cuisine from their country. Interracial relationships are beautiful and in the end, are not much different than any other type of relationship. So if you find yourself in an interracial relationship today or in the future, remember to enjoy the uniqueness and beauty of it and to approach each obstacle with passion, love, and an open mind.

“Above all love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.” -1 Peter 4:8